My One Word Journey

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BELIEVE ~  This was my year to stand firm and believe that God is sovereign. November of this year marked the two year anniversary of my son's, Kyle Matthew, death.  The numbness that comes with extreme grief had worn off and the reality of my "new normal" was hitting me. My anthem became: "I may not understand all the whys in life, but I still believe."

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REBUILD ~ This was the year to begin rebuilding and trying to live life again. Keep moving forward even with a heavy heart {the grief from losing a child never truly ends}. This is the year I started to blog with the hope of helping others by sharing what God was doing (and had done) in my life.



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TRUST ~ It was still hard to fully and without doubt trust God in all things. I knew He is sovereign .... but still, He didn't stop the events of the day Kyle died. Did He have my back? Would He come through for me? Or did He just do what He knew was best and what happens.... well, will just happen? I really struggled with praying and feeling that my prayers mattered much, if at all. As the year progressed I found a renewed trust and rebuilding of my faith.



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PEACE ~ As I began to trust more it brought me peace. Seeing how God led me through my grief journey so far, the "God hugs" He gave, and with the easing of my grieving heart's pain a bit more, I knew I could rest in His perfect and loving plan for my life. That He would be with me through whatever life brings and He is forever faithful.


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FOLLOW ~ All I wanted was to follow my Jesus. To have Him lead me, guide me and walk beside me every day. I began a journey of wanting to hear His voice and say "yes" to whatever He asked me to do. By now I was getting pretty mindful of my One Word throughout the year and I can't believe how many times I'd read something, heard something or was reminded of my choice for 2013. It was a year of growth in my relationship with Jesus.

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BALANCE ~ This year I really felt I needed to slow down and try to find some balance in my life - I was always so busy. Too busy. On the one hand, I think for the past few years it was a way to cope -  keep busy and don't think about how much I miss my Kyle.  And on the other hand it was just my personality which is pretty much task driven. I love checking things off  of my "To Do" list. However, since things like family time, catching up with friends (Facebook doesn't count) and even time for myself aren't things I put on my "To Do" list they could be neglected.  Thus the need to find some balance for all the important things in my life. This is one word I think I still need to be aware of when life starts to feel overwhelming.



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BRAVE ~ I discovered that this word was meant to remind me to: pray bold prayers, have a strong and unwavering faith, stand against wrong and admit my weaknesses.  As I spent time each day in my devotional readings, {Well, ok almost every day. I did miss a few here and there. But I doubled up the next day in my Jesus Calling devotional. So that kinda counts as every day. Yes?} I jotted down verses that spoke to my heart about being brave. I have a list of 19. I wrote my favorite one on a bright yellow index card and keep it in my purse so I can pull it out wherever I'm at and be encouraged to be brave.
"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13


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ENJOY! ~ This was a year of learning to enjoy life and whatever it brought. Instead of fretting, regretting and worrying - I was reminded to see the good, prioritize what is truly important and let go of the stress.  Enjoy each activity, blessing and moment!






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PAUSE! ~ I didn't have a choice. I had to learn to pause. Due to a fall (11/16) that resulted with, among other injuries, a concussion. It took months to fully recover. I experienced a host of cognitive and memory issues. Scary stuff! Once again, God was faithful, hubby was patient and encouraging and I'm thankful to now only have a "concussion brain" moment once in a while. (having turned 60 perhaps it's now even become more of a "senior" moment than anything due to the concussion)

Psalm 139 was a comfort to me during a time when I became afraid that what I was experiencing was more than just from the concussion.

My prayer became - Please Lord, if I forget everything else.... don't let me forget You, Your love for me or how You are forever faithful. 

"You have surrounded me on every side, behind me and before me,
    and You have placed Your hand gently on my shoulder." Ps 139:5

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When I decided ABANDON would be my One Word I was thinking along the lines of being willing and open to abandon anything that keeps me from a closer walk with my Jesus. I wanted to be completely abandoned - as in committed - to Him.   

Ironically, it turns out I also kinda abandoned my place here in blogland.

*Le sigh* 

Looking through my journal I see where the Lord was calling me to a closer walk with Him, showing me His great love for me and showing me He wanted to guide me on the right path for my life. And I also see how my heart was responding to Him.

"Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.

I have given up everything else and count it all as garbage.

All I want is Christ"

Philippians 3:8 

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